Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?