Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance