ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.