I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast