I chose taco bell over sex...
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.