I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize