After last night, I could never be a politician.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
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