break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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