smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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