did you get engaged???
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
