When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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