Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
