i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
