I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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