TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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