i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
