At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
