I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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