first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
