I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies