Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.