My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least