I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.