Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.