dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.