just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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