That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
