This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
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u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
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All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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