I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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