Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize