Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
