So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize