wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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