singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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