I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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