just come out here and I will go home with you...
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
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You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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