Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
