lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
