I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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