It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
