my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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