I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
