I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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