OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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