He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
