Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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