My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize