One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize