Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
