My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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