So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
