I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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