Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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