Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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