So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She told me I should be a condom model.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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