Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
