i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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