I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
