So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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