She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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